Advent Ghosts 2012

Today I’m participating in the 100-word #adventghosts2012 flash fiction event run by writer Loren Eaton. Here’s my piece. Some back-story follows…

Befana

Epiphany morning, Arturo Saverio — literary scholar, occasional poet, and more frequent goat butcher — found a spectral hag poking his kitchen fire with a broom. 

“La Befana! I have longed to see you ever since childhood! Mamma told me I was foolish to believe. But then, she never thought I’d amount to anything.”

“Caffè!” screeched the hag. Her lips looked as if she’d been chewing coal.

Saverio brewed espresso.

The witch hobbled to a chair, dragging her flaming broom after her. “Oops.”

Whoosh.

Later, she warmed herself in the glow of the writhing, burning man.

“Eh. Maybe your mamma was right.”

Author’s note:

My mother grew up believing not in Santa Claus but in La Befana—a witch who supposedly brought gifts to good little Italian kids on Twelfth Night, which many Christians celebrate as the Feast of the Epiphany. That feast commemorates when the wise men beheld the Christ Child in the manger. That encounter was regarded as a critical moment, a meeting of two cultures:

—Gentiles, meet Jesus.

—Jesus, meet three dudes who symbolize the rest of the outside world that will adore you.

According to Italian legend, the hag known as La Befana was invited by the Magi to meet the Christ child but turned it down because…she had too much housework to do. (Pausing here for your ?!?!) Later realizing the error of her ways, La Befana committed to traveling the world (or at least Italy) on Twelfth Night, leaving presents at the home of every child.

That origin story varies greatly, but it’s the one that I first heard, so I’m sticking to it. These days, Italians do actually embrace Santa Claus (they call him Babbo Natale) but purists still root for the hag. When we lived in Rome, we’d see these Christmas stalls set up in Piazza Navona where people were selling tons of little La Befanas.

image

Image by Denise Kiernan

Copyright 2003 Denise Kiernan

That, in part, is why I chose La Befana as my subject  The way I figure, it’s bad enough extending an annual invitation to a hirsute fat man to climb down your chimney. What would it be like to expect a toothless, immortal witch?

I encourage you to visit the entries of other writers taking part in this event.

Befana image above by @gabiontheroad via Unsplash.

ARM OF DARKNESS is out now!

ARM OF DARKNESS. A mysterious demonic stranger intrudes upon the lives of unsuspecting people, forcing them to make choices with horrific consequences. Six short stories.* * *His hand is fashioned from the night sky.  It is powerful, dark, deadly.  …

ARM OF DARKNESS. A mysterious demonic stranger intrudes upon the lives of unsuspecting people, forcing them to make choices with horrific consequences. Six short stories.

* * *

His hand is fashioned from the night sky.

It is powerful, dark, deadly.

He dwells in the world’s oldest mountains and always comes bearing gifts.

Truth is, he cares nothing for you. He is a trickster, a prankster, a demonic being who desires only to wreak casual violence on every human he meets.

He’s about to offer you a bargain.

Piece of advice? Don’t trust him.

* * *

ARM OF DARKNESS contains six short stories—Skullworm, Roadhouse, Glow, Kin, Sunshine Lady and the origin story, Arm of Darkness—for a total of 30,000 words. Three novel excerpts are also included in this e-book.

Available:

Kindle (US)

Kindle (UK)

Nook

iPad

Kobo

Smashwords

Paperback

Writer? Don't go anywhere.

It’s funny. We got a call today from our local bookstore. Would we stop by to sign two of our books? A customer had bought them, asked for them to be signed by us, and said she’d stop by later to pick them up and mail them to her relatives in California for Christmas.

We encourage this. We have longstanding agreement with all the stores in driving distance that we’ll do this. We even mention it on our websites so people will order from them. 

So this was a rush. Time was of the essence.

We both had some business to take care of. Conference calls on Denise’s end. More couch-moping on mine. But we packed ourselves into the car and drove downtown.

As we were driving around looking for parking, it hit me: If I had to park my car in the local garage, I’d instantly nullify my profit on these two books. I don’t know I make it any clearer to people who keep telling me that they want to have a book published by a “real” publisher.

Parking = your royalty.

Luckily, we were able to park for free in a loading zone.

Now if the car had been towed…

First ever appearance in Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine

Returned home from our trip with a nasty head cold, so I’ll be working from the couch today and perhaps tomorrow. But I had to share this image of the new issue of Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine (AHMM). The hard copy issue hits stands tomorrow,…

Returned home from our trip with a nasty head cold, so I’ll be working from the couch today and perhaps tomorrow. But I had to share this image of the new issue of Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine (AHMM). The hard copy issue hits stands tomorrow, but digital versions are already out, which is how I spotted this.

Needless to say, I was blown away by the cover mention. The inside note from the editor is also pretty nice, and my piece (“Button Man”) is the lead story. All pretty cool, unexpected and humbling for my first outing in this publication, to say the least.

Links to the digital editions are: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iPad, Zinio, Magzter, and Sony.

Radio link coming

The radio interview went really well. Talking live on the air for an hour is always nerve-wracking but we managed to relax and have fun. I don’t have an mp3 yet. When they release it, I’ll post it. It might be later in the week because I’m on the road.

I did manage to screw up one thing in the interview, which bugged me all the way up the coast. Seven hundred miles of self-hatred. I managed to forget what was emblazoned on Woody Guthrie’s guitar: “This machine kills fascists.” I’ve known the line for years but when it came out of my mouth, I was spewing every possible thing under the sun: anarchists, tyrants, etc.

Oh well.

Made it up the coast. Visiting some friends and editors this week. Will let you know what’s what when I have something to report.

Cool mention for STUFF EVERY AMERICAN SHOULD KNOW

Our book Stuff Every American Should Know got a little mention on Amanda Waas’s blog, You’re Welcome, which offers tips for shoppers, among other things. It’s always nice to get a plug, but now I covet the Honest Abe glasses she mentions. Learn how …

Our book Stuff Every American Should Know got a little mention on Amanda Waas’s blog, You’re Welcome, which offers tips for shoppers, among other things. It’s always nice to get a plug, but now I covet the Honest Abe glasses she mentions. Learn how to get them at the link below.

Thanks, Amanda!

(via You’re Welcome - You’re Welcome - [12 DAYS OF GIFT GUIDES] Gifts for Your Very Political Brother-in-Law)

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