I spent a stupid amount of time over the holidays consuming advice for authors in the form of articles, podcasts, and videos. Some of it was actually helpful. A lot of it was just nonsense designed to a) make you insecure, and b) spend money on whatever service the person doing the spouting was selling. Since the rise of self-publishing, a LOT of people are marketing courses and software for writers. I jumped for a lot of those things at the beginning, thinking it would give me the edge. But I’ve soured on most of it.
My latest post for SleuthSayers, the mystery writers blog, shows what happens when stuff annoys me. It springs from my brain as comedic satire. If you’re a writer, or you’re just curious, I hope you’ll go over and check out the article, which is entitled:
The Successful Writer’s Guide to a Guilt- and Success-Free New Year!
Here’s just a taste, to give you a sense of the tone…
In the hot new world of churn-and-burn publishing, if you are not writing at least 10,000 words a day, you’re destined for failure. Stop listening to the fancy-pants bestsellers who say that they write 1,500 words in the morning, before ingesting a light lunch, brewing a mug of mint tea, and turning their attention to fan mail, tending to their author brand, and blah blah blah. They can play that game, because they’re tools of the man. The rest of us can’t. Luckily, several excellent books can teach you what you need to know. Maybe you start small, writing only 5,000 words a day before ramping up to 10,000. After consuming those reasonably priced ebooks, sign up for each author’s $797 course that will school you on the hot new world of “Rapid Release.” Some courses cost a little more, some a little less, but ones ending with 9 and 7 are the best.
Yes, I had a delightful time writing it, as you might imagine.
