Three December Announcements!

Buy my books! There—I said it. What more could any writer have to say to the world in general (and this world in particular) during the month of December?

Actually, you know what? Buy our books. My wife’s and mine, I mean.

We both have some delightful offerings that we’ve cooked up for you lovely people during this disturbing pandemic holiday season we’ve got going on. Specifically, I launched a new book some weeks ago that I need to tell you about.

But let me march through these here announcements one by one, in the ever-popular ascending price order. Which means, let’s start with the deal you cannot miss.

Thing 1: The e-book of my Christmas epic fantasy, Sorceress Kringle, is on sale right now for the ridiculous price of 99 cents. Yes, I’ve gone nuts for Christmas. This gender-swapped, female Santa Claus story is probably my best book and I’m practically giving it away. Why? Because Santa. Because Christmas. Because ho-fucking-ho. So snap it up at wherever you buy your e-books. (Just do it soon before the price goes up.) Tell your friends. Tell your pets. And then, when you’ve immersed yourself in the Christmasy juices of this lush, evocative book, and you’re ready to burst with goodwill toward men, write a freaking review of the book where you bought it. Don’t read e-books? No problem. You can buy a paper copy wherever fine books are sold. You can order a copy from the bookstore in my town and they’ll get me to autograph it before they send it out. Get the deets on Sorceress Kringle right here.

Thing 2: My new book, Ear of God, is just out and it continues The Mesmerist thriller saga I started a few years ago. The new book’s a bizarro tale of a sweet harmless child with special gifts who gets himself kidnapped and unleashes hell on the world. I apologize for pubbing such a story during a freaking pandemic, but as I’ll try to explain a future post, writers gotta write, and I don’t write expecting my literary nightmares to become reality. So go grab Ear of God, and begin worrying about my sanity. The e-book’s $4.99, the paperback’s $16. And yes, you can get a signed copy from my local bookstore. All the details for Ear of God are here. Remember: if you do get it, please consider reviewing it at some online retailer. It’s one of the best things you can do to help an author out.

Thing 3: Lastly, the New York Times bestseller in the house—my lovely wife Denise Kiernan—just pubbed a nonfiction book called We Gather Together, which tells the remarkable story of how Thanksgiving (and thanksgiving) came to be. Among other things, it’s a book about a little-known woman, stirring events in the Civil War, the pursuit of love, honor, duty, and grace, and it includes what I think is one of the most compassionate, forthright portraits of Abe Lincoln I’ve seen in a book in a long while. The hardcover retails for $25; the e-book is $12.99. This book is destined to be a hit with book clubs, and a perennial bestseller. The book everyone needs to read around the holidays. If you don’t believe me, go hunt up the Wall Street Journal review and see for yourself. Get the details on We Gather Together right here.

So there you have it. Three important announcements to get off my chest before year’s end and the jangle of a hopefully better New Year.

There! Go! Buy! Crack some spines and snuggle in front of a fire and read thyself to thy heart’s content.

As for me, I gotta go vacuum the pine needles out of the carpet.

Thank you all. Hug the family for me. And stay safe out there!

Eight Arguments for a Female Santa Claus

My new historical fantasy novel about a female Santa Claus pubs today–the eve of St. Nicholas–and I thought I’d take the time to lay out the case for a female Santa Claus, and maybe clarify (if only to myself) how I even came up with such an idea. Some thoughts on the subject follow, and with it, I hope, some insight into this writer’s mind and process.

1. I think the seeds of the idea are rooted in my childhood. My mom grew up in Italy believing not in Santa Claus but in La Befana—a broom-riding female witch who brought presents to children on the eve of the Epiphany, i.e., the day the Magi encountered the Christ child in the manger. When Denise and I lived briefly in Italy, we’d see these adorable Befana dolls sold in Christmas markets in Rome.

2. It took me six years and three rewrites to get this book right. During that time, I learned that researching the history of Christmas sometimes feels like partaking in a massive, multi-century, international game of telephone, where language is constantly being corrupted and reframed for new purposes. The German-named Christkindl is a traditional European gift-bringer who is a kind of fae-like personification of the Christ child. But you could not ask for a more gender-ambiguous name than its corruption: Kris Kringle.

3. Similarly, the name Santa Claus is a corruption of the Dutch Sinterklaas (i.e., Saint Nicholas). But when I was growing up, my mom always referred to female saints as Santa Maria, Santa Teresa, Santa Cecilia. Male saints were San Francisco, San Giuseppe, etc. To my early mind, a Santa anyone was female unless otherwise noted.

4. I love the work of writer Washington Irving, who inserted a gift-giving St. Nicholas into his early 19th-century satirical history of New York City, so much so that one historian flat-out said, “Without Irving there would be no Santa Claus.” A couple of years after Irving’s book pubbed, the Dec. 28, 1815 edition of the New York Evening Post took a different tack, trotting out a female Santa Claus, dubbing her “Queen and Empress of the Court of Fashions.” Scans of the original article are a little hard to read (and the content sexist) but you can get the gist here.

5. My wife spent seven years researching women’s work during World War II. Among the many jobs women performed when men were off fighting in the war was the role of department store Santas. This did not always go over well with traditionalists during that era, leading to the over-the-top newspaper editorials described in this 2017 article in Smithsonian.

6. WWII was long gone by the time I arrived on the scene, but as a kid, I’m certain I sat on the lap of many a female Santa. More to the point, I’ve always thought that Santa’s look was outrageously…suspicious. Overdetermined, if you will. When someone dresses like they’re trying to hide something, they probably are. Why couldn’t the real Santa be a woman in drag?

7. In her book, Liar, Temptress, Soldier, Spy, author Karen Abbott investigates Confederate women spies during the Civil War. In one of her talks, Abbott, a friend, said that one of these women successfully passed as a man simply by donning men’s clothing. In 19th century America, that’s all it took. If you wore trousers, you had to be a dude, because what else could you possibly be? In my book, Kringle intentionally hides her identity, like any superhero, and takes up arms to defend the people she loves. Throughout history women fought in battle–disguised as men or otherwise–though the practice has strangely been ignored by us supposedly open-minded moderns, as brilliantly explored in this now-famous essay.

8. Last year, a viral news story raised the notion of a gender-neutral Santa, and Snopes had to step in to set the record straight. But academics have actually probed the notion, pointing out that most of the work of Christmas cheer, not to mention the nurturing of children and other family members, is still performed by women.

So there’s some of my thinking on the matter. As I’ve said the whole time I’ve been working on this book, I can’t really picture an elderly obese dude willingly leaving his cozy man-cave on a cold winter’s night to ride in a drafty open sleigh. There’s no question in my mind: the big man is not a man at all, and never has been.

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If you’re interested, you can check out the first chapter of the new book here. Thanks for stopping by.